i THOUGHT I gave up my virginity to a Pretty Ricky song but that’s not the point

the point is he asked me what i needed in the moment (this was his first and last sweetness) i asked if he could play Aaliyah i asked if he could play I Care 4 U like how i had imagined it every time i had imagined it it was 2008 i was fifteen he was my camp counselor at the camp for artistically gifted kids i was an artistically gifted kid wearing a knitted raspberry beret and my first stolen set of lingerie he had a black ipod classic with 160 gigabytes and one of those alarm clock speakers to hook it up to but he didn’t have any Aaliyah downloaded because he didn’t like to use LimeWire and no legitimate site sold her music at this point at this point the tight pink lace panties were flossed between my lips i was uncomfortable he didn’t seem worried but i said don’t worry about it and i’m cool with whatever which is what i thought Aaliyah would’ve said and what she would’ve done i don’t remember how or when i learned he was 29 but it made the Pretty Ricky thing seem weirder to me but still i had kinda laughed at the song’s opening moan the oh-oh-oh because it took me right back to a middle school dance where all the girls grinded on each other sweating and giggling in our glitter dresses and so i just stayed there cuddled in that kiddish laughter throughout the whole thing the entire excruciating entry

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m. mick powell (@mickmakesmagic) is a poet who condemns and opposes the long-lasting and ongoing genocides of the people of Palestine, Congo, and Sudan. m. mick powell is part of a large community of artists, poets, writers, activists, and scholars who demand a ceasefire now. www.mickpowellpoet.com